Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
« Go Back
SteveSteve was an arsehole of the biggest kind (a ginger as well to make matters worse). He started to hang around with a bunch of us in the local pub (we all thought he was someone else's mate so went along with it). He regularly used to tell us how well he was doing in college and would be away from us and the shit-hole that we lived in as he was destined for bigger and better things.
I let slip that my Mum & Dad had gone away to him once and that a few of us would be having a few drinks at ours one Sunday afternoon before the pubs opened (before the days of all day Sunday drinking). He invited himself and demanded that we pick him up from his house.
He spent the next 10 minutes telling us what shite cars we had and how he was going to get a better one when he had passed his exams and was better than the rest of us.
We got back to my house and the scene was set for drinking games - 6 glasses lined up with a bottle of Coke and a bottle of Whisky ready.
What we didnt tell him though was we were all just drinking Coke while he was being poured straight whisky with the tiniest bit of Coke to colour it.
20 minutes later and 1/2 bottle of Whisky caned by just him, he was a wreck. Made sure he was out of the house in the garden to minimise damage and prevent him from being sick everywhere.
45 minutes later, nearly pub opening time so we got a taxi down there - he was incapable of walking anywhere, being sick out of the taxi window and was pretty much passed out.
Couldnt take him to the pub in that state so dumped him in his front garden, rang the bell and hopped back in the taxi on to the pub.
From his Mum's point of view, she last saw her darling son an hour ago. Her last words to him, don't get drunk as you have an exam tomorrow. She opens the door to find him passed out in the middle of a rose bush, sick all down his front.
He didn't come out with us again - she told him he wasn't allowed to as we were a bad influence.
Last I heard he had a shitty job working for his Dad as he failed his exams miserably.
Lesson learnt I think.
(, Tue 1 May 2007, 10:57, Reply)
« Go Back