Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Everybody has a road rage storyI drive a 17 year old Golf GTi. I'm fixing it up, but to be fair it does still look a bit bandjaxed.
Last October, I'm driving back up to Guildford along the A303. Southerners will know this road, it's smooth, straight and fast. As you head north towards Stonehenge, there is a lovely long section that runs downhill, goes into a gentle left hander at the bottom and climbs up the following hill.
At the bottom of the road, a BMW (isn't it always a BMW) 525 turns across in front of me. He knew I was coming, he knew I was going pretty fast, there was nobody on the road for miles behind me. So he pulls out and cuts me up. I, quite, quite literally, had to stand on my brakes. The girl in the car with me nearly shat herself and I was fucking furious. Livid. I have never been so angry in my entire life and this fucking cunt had done it on purpose.
I knew he had done it on purpose because he immediately floored it and one of his passengers turned around and looked at me with a big smile on her ugly, geriatric, dog's arse mouth. Evidentally, they thought they had the legs of me and were having a good laugh at their jolly jape of winding up the young lad in his hot hatch.
Well, much to their dismay, my little shed of a GTi is perfectly capable of keeping up with a 525. I was right on their bumper the entire way up the following hill, flashing my lights and throwing signs at them. I am not normally a road rager, but they had seriously scared me and my passenger and I wasn't going to let it go.
Well hanging off someone's bumper at 90mph isn't the cleverest thing you can be doing so i needed a different approach. As we came up to a dual carriageway section, I took out my SLR, switched the flash on and took a photo of their number plate. Immediately the old fool driving slows right down to 65, evidentally hoping that I was going to pass him and leave them in peace. No.
I slow down with them. I flash my lights and indicate. They slow down more and pull into the hard shoulder. I slow down to a crawl and myself and the lady passenger both look across, give them a big cheery smile and a wave and drive on by.
Bastards. Revenge taken. I hope those octogenerian japesters filled their colostomy bags.
(
Kroney, Wed 2 May 2007, 14:03,
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