Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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BlueA few years ago, I was getting pissed dahn the pub when a friend turned to me and said:
"Can you swim?"
"Er... if someone throws me off a boat I can."
"Do you wanna go in the Lorne Pier-to-Pub? Me and a friend are going to stay in a guesthouse, it'll be fun."
For those of you who can't be fucked looking it up, the Lorne Pier-to-Pub is a 1200m open-ocean swim. Its website contains very helpful hints about how one should prepare for entering such a gruelling competition, especially for lardarses such as myself who have diligently avoided physical activity of any sort since high school. Amongst other things, it suggests that you:
"Use a wetsuit"
"Practice swimming in the ocean"
"Swimmers should bear in mind that most training is done in still water heated pools. Pool water is 10 C degrees warmer than the ocean and is not exposed. Do not underestimate the impact of these conditions."
Guess what I didn't do?
What I *did* do was end up under a pretty silver foil shock blanket with a peg attached to my finger and skin that was a royal shade of blue.
That'll learn me!
(I finished the race, though, and with my new-found lung capacity proceeded to treat myself to a soft pack of Stuyvos. Yay me!)
(, Thu 3 May 2007, 11:27, Reply)
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