Re-Wipe
Setting the scene:

Monday Night:
A cheeky after work drink for our tattoed, bodybulding skinhead (the nice - non racist kind)purchasing director turned into a gigantic piss up with lashings of the black stuff and the obligatory 1 am collie kebab.

Tuesday Morning:
9:10 N. ,the aforementioned skinhead purchasing director rarely a pretty sight when sober and not hungover, drags his knuckles from the entrance of the office to his desk and orders one of the minions to go and get him an "expresso" (they've even go that printed on the onsite cafe menu!)
9:20 N. announces to one and all that he is now "going for an eartha" and he recommends avoiding the toilets for the forseeable future.

9:33 N. returns from the toilet looking relieved and visibly lighter.

9:35 A colleague of mine, had two chinese clients come to visit us in crewe to sign off on a potentially massive bit of business. As N. is sat with his back to the door he can't see them coming as he stands up and lets out the most gutwrenchingly vile fart I have ever heard/smelled/felt. He then loudly says, "Oh shit, I'm gonna have to go for a re-wipe now " He then turns round, stares directly at G. the accounts manager and the gobsmacked clients, grabs and shakes their unresisting hands, introduces himself as someone completely different and calmly walks towards the exit.
(Fausted Sticking his faust where the sun don't shine, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:45, 1 reply)

Having the most massive bellylaugh about this.
Got my shift partner giggling, too.
(Scritty Bakerman., Sun 21 Jun 2009, 9:59, closed)