The memory still makes me shudder
He was promoted well above his limited ability levels and had no personal skills to speak of. He systematically set about destroying the branch through a catalogue of ill founded decisions and deteriorating relationships with customers and suppliers.

A typical example; he is in my office, a call comes through from a customer with an overdue delivery, I mouth the customer name he bellows “Tell the fat cunt I’ve fucked off home but make it sound good.”

Worse, he constantly scratched his balls through, and sometimes from within the confines of his pale blue sweatpants. Ate close to you, talking bollocks with his mouth open giving everyone a closeup of his saliva saturated cheese and jam sandwiches. Same lunch every day. He had no sense of personal space or personal belongings and picked up my keys to clean great wads of hard brown wax from his ears. The bastard didn’t even have the grace to wipe it off before dropping the keys back on my desk.

He wore white socks with black shoes and pale blue sweatpants.

Inevitably the company closed, I was responsible for calculating all unpaid leave and redundancy payments so did quite well out of it but it still rankled.

Three months later, unable to find work he decided to end it all by hanging himself in his loft. Twisted an ankle and put the other foot through the ceiling when the knot failed. Fucking typical.
(occassional, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 4:05, 2 replies)

Likes it
Gets a click for the piss up/brewery suicide attempt!
(DownhillGardener no-one does it like that anymore, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 10:41, closed)

I imagine that after the failed hanging
he just said 'meh' and farted. Clickety
(firestormviper!!1 approaching god through cigarettes, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 10:42, closed)