Ca plane pour moi
While out and about, I spotted an electric plane on sale for a very good price. Now an electric plane is not a tool you need every day, but when you do need it - for trimming a door, for example - it saves a great deal of hard, backbreaking work. So I decided to invest in it for the future.

As I expected, it was some time before I actually needed it. In fact it was probably more than a year. The door of my shed had broken, so I needed to replace it. With a sense of mounting excitement I opened the cupboard to get the shiny plane from its pristine box.

At which point I discovered that, while the shed door had been faulty, some scrote had stolen a number of power tools, including the unused plane.

I swore with every bastard stroke of the cunting hand plane that I now had to use to fit the goatfelching new door.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 13:29, 3 replies)

MODS!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 13:40, closed)

Splendid ironing here.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 14:05, closed)

What's the use of an electric plane if it doesn't fly?

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 13:40, closed)