I have been to many festivals over the years and am used to stumbling back to my tent in various states of intoxication depending on whatever chemicals and alcohol I'd imbibed during the day. The following morning I'd wake up aching, bruised and de-hydrated beyond belief and blame it all on whatever chemicals and alcohol I'd imbibed the day before.

Then a couple of summers ago I had a bet with a friend who said i couldn't stop drinking for three months.

Stubbornly I took the bet and was two thirds of my way into winning the bet when the secret garden party festival loomed up. A load of us had bought the early bird tickets nearly a year before and we were all gearing up to go. This was going to be the test of my resolve. I had gone two months without any drink or drugs and thought I could handle going to a festival without my usual festival partners.

The hardest part was the first day when we all arrived and everyone was very excited setting up camp and the beers were still cold from the supermarket. I resisted the temptation of a cold beer literally minute by minute until we all went into the festival to see what was going on and the temptation was less.

Then during the course of the evening and the rest of the festival all my friends proceeded to get properly festival trashed and them saying "Oh you're doing so well", "Are you sure you don't want some of this?", "Just have a cheeky one" and "I wish I didn't drink so much" kind of wore thin after the tenth time they said it.

Every evening I would go back to camp alone (leaving girlfriend out) because I was knackered from all the walking and without any stimulants I didn't have the energy to carry on into the night like the rest of them.

On the way back I would, without fail, trip over guy ropes, fall into holes and get lost and not be able to find my tent in the dark. Even during the day I tripped over a hole in the ground and three guys sitting having a smoke pissed themselves laughing. I told them I hadn't drunk anything but they just laughed more. I could see in their eyes "Why?"

Every morning I woke up aching, bruised and de-hydrated, especially if the sun was shining. I had always thought it was the chemicals and alcohol I'd imbibed the day before but it's not. I've worked out why I wake up like that.

It's because CAMPING IS SHIT.
(twistngo, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 10:10, 2 replies)

fuck yes. camping IS shit.
i'm still going back to beautiful days this year though.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 11:33, closed)

Your misake is camping at festivals.
Packing for a festival for me has always been, wallet check, fags check, gear check, and let the weekend begin.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 11:49, closed)