Outdoor/Poo-Related Pearoast: Years ago, my brother would take his family on camping holidays in a converted minibus/ambulance vehicle.
Early one morning, all the family were asleep inside on a full Welsh campsite when he woke up with bad guts.

He sneaked out, wearing just boxers and trainers, to find the bog, but realised that he wasn't going to make it.

So he glanced around, saw nobody else up, and decided to relieve himself right there.

He quickly dropped his shorts and laid a huge squirty pancake immediately behind the van. Then he ingeniously backed the van a few feet to conceal it.

However, he found when he went to check his parking that he'd failed to notice an elderly woman sitting nearby in one of those caravan awnings.

Her knitting lying forgotten on her lap, mouth hanging open in shock, she'd obviously seen everything.

He crept back to bed and didn't come out again until everyone was up and they could slink off to another site.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 5 Apr 2012, 8:47, 2 replies)

Yes, Blackadder! I was that knitting!
Ace story - click.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Apr 2012, 10:32, closed)

Thank you!

(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 5 Apr 2012, 10:44, closed)