Future Mrs Speed
She told me off in a shop a few months back because I wanted to get two bottles of coke (which were on offer for £1.50) a packet of crisps and an ice cream. It was like being told off by my mum (Seriously, remember back to when you were a kid and you know what I mean). She even said "Hurry up now because the man is waiting!" tone that mothers do with their kids. I'm 26 for fuck sake!.
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:02, 3 replies)

And yet you're still marrying her.
The woman that reminds you of your mum.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:26, closed)

Oh, well played Sir
When he reaches the vinegar strokes next time, he's going to think about that. Nice.

(It might take him off the boil though, I suppose)
(Rsoles, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 19:24, closed)

26
and you're still saying "I'm twenty-six". Grow up for fuck sakes.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 23:25, closed)