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This is a question Kids say the shittiest things

Smudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
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Well, that's me told.
On the odd occasion as a family we all climb into one of our cars and the little-un will pipe up with, "Where are we going?". This is during a time period when Masterchef/My Kitchen Rules etc. are on tv and they are all talking about how to properly cook a slab of meat. This will make some sense in a moment.
Now to curtail the usual whinges about " I don't want to go to the shops." or "Didn't we go to the library last week?" I usually pull out the - "We are taking you to the Slave Markets, to see how much we can get for you."
Clearly I am not trying to sell my daughter into slavery, simply trying to head off some bad behavior from her by suggesting something completely implausible.
This is often followed with "Oh, Dad - that just doesn't exist. Where are we going?". But occasionally the game is played. When that happens we might discuss the prices that the slavers might pay for different people in our family.
Then one day my daughter comes out with - "Don't be silly Dad, why would a slave trader buy me when they could buy you with all your fat?", "Your flesh has all the marbling to make the meat tender and tasty."
I haven't even begun to think about using the "veal" gambit yet.
(, Sat 25 May 2013, 9:12, 9 replies)
fascinating, as ever.

(, Sat 25 May 2013, 9:22, closed)
Janet -
if I took the time to go into exactly how fucked up it is that you keep following me and responding to my posts... well, suffice to say I'd be here for a very long time.

I rarely see you actually post a story related to the question here.
Is that because your life is so mundane that you have none? Or, do you have so little to put into this website that all of your input is just negative, desultory comments?
(, Sat 25 May 2013, 9:53, closed)
You've actually become too dull to even bother trying to wind up. Well done.

(, Sat 25 May 2013, 9:23, closed)
Yet here you are.
Replying to a story that I've written.

And yours is?
(, Sat 25 May 2013, 9:32, closed)
Please.
S.T.O.P. P.O.S.T.I.N.G
(, Mon 27 May 2013, 18:21, closed)
S.E.L.L. M.Y. B.O.O.K.!

(, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:52, closed)
Ozzy Master-chef....how to cook a slab of meat. Sounds about of right.

(, Tue 28 May 2013, 7:38, closed)
Yeah.
A lot of our cows are sane.
EDIT: & I like you better as ringofyre.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, closed)
Don't listen to the haters
This is veal-ly good.
(, Wed 29 May 2013, 19:25, closed)

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