When on a military exercise....
....I found a handy fallen tree with a forked branch sturdy enough to sit on; an organic bogseat. A good couple of days of ration packs had me fairly well bunged, and this was the chance my bowels needed to relax properly and dump the lot. Just as I was finishing, the branch snapped, and I dropped two feet, arse first, into a couple of days worth of shit. It was everywhere; I was picking it out of my clothes for the next two days, with no chance to shower or even change clothes. I also got a lot of personal space.

Now I am paid by the hour and not playing silly buggers, I normally take as many shites a day as I can, printing off anything I might want to read and stashing it in my pocket. Managing three or more shits in one working day is the goal, and known locally as a "shat Trick".
( Spaniels Ears, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 22:00, Reply)