23rd bday.
Ok, so this may be _slightly_ off-topic. It made me feel like a child anyways...

So, it was my last birthday (23rd if you wanna know). I'm living in Edinburgh, folks live in Dundee. I have 2 older sisters and they're very much the whole "mememememememe" thing at their birthdays and want everyone to be there, big deals, etc. I'm a bit quieter.

So, my birthday was on the Friday, I get pissed with my mates and whatnot, but I decided to go out for a meal on the Saturday with just my parents in Dundee.

My parents are publicans, and therefore, I, like them, enjoy alcohol.

Also, I smoke quite heavily, neither of my parents ever have. And they hate it. I also refuse to smoke in front of my parents - it's just something I don't do. To the point of hiding it like a teenager, stubbing it out, throwing it away, shrugging it up my sleeve, passing it to someone else.

We went out, visited a few pubs, had a bit of banter, then headed to the restuartant. It's one I'd never been to before (Turkish / Anatolian) - which is unusal for Dundee, not exactly teeming with things to do.

We're having our meal, it's about halfway through the maincourse and we've been drinking copious amounts of wine - which goes straight to my head on an empty stomach.

There's a big thing in my family about how all of my childhood friends got into drugs (read: heroin) - so they're excessively worried that I still might slip into that loop somehow.

Anyways, I get up, make some lame excuse about needing to make a call, slip out the restaurant and spark up a cigarette. I smoke it quickly (double-drawing/dragging, squeezing the filter sorta thing). Am done within less than 2 mins (kinda like Sharon Stone - but I'm a dude).

Start to walk back into the restaurant. Oh god no. Head-bender. I smoked it too quickly and now have oxygen depravation / nicotine overdose. Usually passes within a second or two. No. Alcohol is keeping me disorientated. Fuck.

So what do I do? I bounce off all the walls, tables, patrons and waiters back to the table. I sit down, let out a sigh and stare at my feet (trying to get rid of the head-bender by focusing on something).

My parents looked at each other solemnly. My Dad then says to me "Are you on drugs?"

Glancing away from my feet at him i say "what? Don't be daft."

"The way you were staggering over here it looks otherwise. Do you know what drugs do to you?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"I know a lot of your friends do it..."

I'm still not getting rid of the head-bender at this point, so I started trying to focus on him. Owlishly.

I get the whole "we understand, we'd like to help" speech for 15 mins in a packed restaurant on a Saturday night.

It wasn't until the next day I told my Sister - who then explained what happens when someone is pissed and smokes a cig too quickly - that they understood. Felt like such a schmuck.
(allywilson, Thu 20 Sep 2007, 20:00, Reply)