You are about to enter another dimension, there's a signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!
Consider the case if you will: Colonel Dracula, a 30 year old chartered accountant is about to be rudely awoken on this dreary work-day morning by the ringing of his bedside telephone:

Me: "Urghhhhello?"

Caller: "It's your mother"

Me: "Mum? It's really early...OH SHIT WHO'S DIED?!"

Mum: "Your tea towels are disgusting!"

Me: "What?"

Mum: "Your tea towels"

Me: "My what?"

Mum: "They're disgusting"

Me: "For fucks sake mother, I was asleep..."

Mum: "Don't swear at me"

Me: "Sorry Mum, look I was asleep and I now have to get up for..."

Mum: ..."it's not good enough you know, your tea towels are disgusting!"

Me: "Mum, I’m a grown man..."

Mum: ..."That's NO excuse for disgusting tea towels, I’m embarrassed when I see them, so I’m bringing round some clean ones"

Me: "What? SHIT...no-sorry, Mum can we do this another time, I have to get ready...

Mum: "I'm coming over now and I bet your kitchens in a state...and when did you last Hoover your stairs?"

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, between living with your parents and owning your own house and it lies between the pit of a man's fears of his mothers displeasure and the summit of his knowledge that his tea towels are a bit dirty. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 21 Sep 2007, 12:23, Reply)