I told someone off on a train.....
... for wanting to put his feet exactly where mine were. He was some academic sort of prat, wearing a tweed jacket, motheaten trousers and thick horn-rimmed spectacles.

He sat opposite me in a group of 4 seats. The train was half full, there were plenty of free spaces.

He shuffled his feet forward and placed them over mine. Bear in mind I had my feet pretty well tucked in as commuter trains out of London are packed to the gunnels most nights.

I moved my feet forwards, he tried to push them back again.
This went on for about 20 seconds until I raised my heel and smashed it down on his toes.

"Oww" He protested, "Do you mind?"

"Not unless you get you stop trying to put your bloody feet on top of mine"

"You're taking up too much room"

"Oh sorry, where would you like me to put my feet? Out of the window perhaps? They'll go up your arse if you're not careful" (bear in mind I was always a bit stressed working in London)

"People like you are insufferable"

"People like you can always go and sit somewhere else"

"I always sit here"

"Well shut up, put your feet back under your seat, and stop behaving like a petulant child then" and I stared at him, not blinking. He looked at me for a few seconds, and then buried his head in his book where he remained until my stop.

I got up and he muttered something rude, I heard the word "twat".

"Pardon?" I asked as i swung my briefcase into his head.

I walked off, several of the other commuters were smiling, evidently this cretin *did* always sit there, and had a name for himself.
(Vic Flange, Fri 21 Sep 2007, 15:46, Reply)