Being told off as an adultWhen was the last time you were properly told off? You know: treated as an errant child rather than the sophisticated adult you are.
The sort of thing that dredges up an involuntary teenage mumble of "Sorry, Miss" whilst you stare at the ground.
Go on, tell us what childish thing you were up to when you got caught.
Oh, and can we have more than one-line answers this time? Cheers!
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chthonic, Thu 20 Sep 2007, 17:18)
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Polite road rageThere's something about the phlegmatic Englishman that turns into a bullying cunt when he's behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. As someone who spends an inordinately long time trying to avoid getting killed by witless twats driving silver Ford Mondeos on the M4, I fear this type of cuntery is on the increase.
Now, I hate middle-lane-hogging fucktards as much as the next man. They're a shower of cunts. They pootle along at 71mph not overtaking anyone. And yes, they're a pain in the arse.
BUT... Just because you're in an Audi and you have a spectacularly tiny penis, don't fucking well flash your full beams at me for overtaking a lorry and then not swinging back into the first lane if there's another lorry 2 yards further along the road that I have to overtake as well. What the fuck gives you the right to tell me off for that? Less lane-changing, fewer accidents. It's not fucking rocket science, you Phil-Collins-listening cockwife.
Another classic telling-off bastard, who will have a throbbing haemorrhoid of their very own on Satan's anal ring when they get to hell, is when someone sees you pulling out of a side-road / walking out to cross the road and SPEEDS UP just so they can PRETEND they nearly crashed into you, hammering on the brakes, flashing their lights and headbutting the horn. What the fucking hell is your major malfunction? You don't like someone else being on the same cunting road on you, so you've got to try and warn them off by revving your company Vauxhall Astra like it's a fucking AK47. You big babies!
I'm pleased to report, though, that there's a much more polite form of telling-off in the motor vehicle. After a decidedly pisspoor escapade at a mini-roundabout the other week, where I nearly crashed into an old gent in a Nissan Micra, he pulled up alongside me and wound down the window. I was expecting the usual volley of abuse and threats of violence with a tyre-iron, but no.
"You should focus a little bit more on the road ahead," he said, and drove off with a cheery wave.
That's more like it, isn't it?
(, Sun 23 Sep 2007, 22:40, Reply)
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