Customs officers
Lunar Jim's post below reminded me of a time ten years or so back when my mate Dave and I went to the Belgian Grand Prix.

Dave lives in Guernsey, so he flew to Heathrow, and I picked him up on the way then we drove to Folkestone and went through the tunnel. After a week's tour of Switzerland and a weekend at Spa for the GP (F1 fans - it rained, as expected!) we drove back through Belgium and France to St Malo (I think?), from where Dave flew back to Guernsey and I went back to Cherbourg to take the ferry to Southampton.

I was driving through the docks after giving my ticket to the officer at the booth, when I noticed a very agitated French chap in a uniform blowing his whistle and running after my car. Turns out I'd driven right through the Customs checkpoint without stopping. (In my defence, this was a small wooden shed with no obvious "Douane" or "Stop" signs). The chap was not happy and I got a bollocking for not stopping.

Of course, he then asked all the usual questions, and when I said I'd been to Belgium and was returning to Scotland, I got the "so WTF are you doing in Cherbourg?" look. He then proceeded to take everything out of my car, and look through my bags, under the boot floor etc. He didn't find anything, mind.

As if this were not enough humiliation for one day, after 5 hours on a boat I got off at Southampton, and was called over by UK Customs officer and had to go through the whole thing again. But at least they didn't give me a telling off, and they were nicer about it, being British.

At least I didn't get my arsehole examined for contraband. That would have been too much.

Length? 45 laps.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 24 Sep 2007, 10:23, Reply)