Being told off as an adultWhen was the last time you were properly told off? You know: treated as an errant child rather than the sophisticated adult you are.
The sort of thing that dredges up an involuntary teenage mumble of "Sorry, Miss" whilst you stare at the ground.
Go on, tell us what childish thing you were up to when you got caught.
Oh, and can we have more than one-line answers this time? Cheers!
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chthonic, Thu 20 Sep 2007, 17:18)
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Frog non-abuseA bunch of us good-for-nothing students were on the way to the pub one evening, the shortest route being across the nearby common. As we wandered along the path, we noticed little shapes hopping about in the gloom...frogs! A whole crapload of them, presumably moving from one pond to another or something. We were fascinated (presumably we'd already been drinking) and spent a while watching them go about their froggy business.
As we were standing there, some miserable old fart came wandering up the path and, apparently jumping to the conclusion that a bunch of young lads cannot be trusted to be left alone with wildlife, started to have a go at us for cruelty to frogs. As we stood bemused, he ranted on about how he was an animal lover and so forth, and concluded with:
"If you lot don't get out of here right now, I'll get a gang of mates from the pub and we'll teach you what for!"
This was too much for -S-, not over-endowed in the even-temper department at the best of times and especially volatile after a beer or two. As it happens he was from Northern Ireland and so, putting on his thickest Antrim drawl he calmly said:
"And if you don't fuck off, ya wee shite, we'll round up a gang and burn down your fuckin' house."
The look on the fella's face was priceless, as the blood drained away and he turned and, as instructed, fucked off.
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reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Mon 24 Sep 2007, 17:26,
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