Fife Police
My mate, whom we'll call big Gogs (incidentally also the bridegroom in the Porsche Porn story in my profile), used to work at Knockhill racing circuit in Fife. One day, there was a big meet on, Touring Cars or Superbikes or something.

The police were handling traffic management on the public roads, but once in the parking areas, Knockhill staff were doing it. Gogs drew the short straw and ended up directing traffic to park in a muddy field. So there he was, dressed in waterproofs, and being rained on heavily, for t'was a pissing wet day, when a young bloke in a flash car decided to park right by the gate. Gogs knocked his window, and upon it being opened a crack, told the lad he couldn't park there as it was blocking traffic.

He was met with a torrent of abuse, and the bloke said he'd park there if he wanted to as his disabled father was in the passenger seat and couldn't walk far. "Fair enough", said Gogs. "Let him out here, then park the car".

But the lad was having none of it and was becoming quite irate. Gogs was fuming by this time but acted professionally and kept the head. He went round to the other side of the car where by this time the father, who seemed to be perfectly able bodied, was opening the door. He swung it right into Gogs's face. This was too much and he lost it a bit and shoved the door back at the bloke, causing more shouting. Meanwhile, Gogs became aware that the two policemen at the gate were taking an interest.

One of them started his way. "Bugger!", thought Gogs. "I'm going to get into bother for retaliating".

Whereupon came the caring voice of Fife Constabulary....

"Hit the cunt!"

He couldn't, as he was laughing too much.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 25 Sep 2007, 11:01, Reply)