I worked as a traffic warden one summer
It was an amazing job. I had a uniform which I have to divulge, makes you feel as commanding and invincible as an SS Stormtrooper, and I had the power to induce fear or furious wrath in drivers which they had no chance of winning, as I was the one carrying the fixed-penalty-notice machine.

One time I slapped a ticket on a car for being one eighth of an inch over the parking space line, (the local councils provide all parking attendants with a micrometer). The owner ran out claiming he was only parked there to get his sick mother out of the house and take her to hospital.

"Not my problem, Sir" I replied officially, "You should've considered that before you parked illegally. Part of your vehicle is on the yellow line".

He didnt believe me, so I got the micrometer out and proved it. From the house I could hear a womans voice calling plaintively for someone called Stanley.
I'll wager he never parked on double yellows again.

The zenith of my career was when I ticketed and then had clamped an invalid carriage for not displaying the disabled badge correctly in the windscreen (It was 20mm too close to the A pillar. Toothless old codgers really have no respect for the law.
The owner plodded up in his walk-frame and remonstrated with me for being pedantic.

Pedantic?? Me??

I gave him a thorough dressing down for not paying correct attention to the rules, but he replied by saying he'd fought for 5 years against the Japanese for people like me.

"Yes" I replied with the coup-de-gras, "but you're not in a bloody bullet filled jungle now are you? You're in Stroud High Street and your buggy is parked illegally."

That told him!
(Vic Flange, Tue 25 Sep 2007, 14:19, Reply)