Sort of.......
As I am obviously a frightening criminal and a burden on society with psychotic mass-murdering tendencies* I had to attend a speed-awareness course, forced on me by Northamptonshire constabulary at my own expense. The very first question the condescending self-important cuntbucket asked me and my fellow international terrorist criminals** was "Why do people die in car crashes in 30mph zones". We were asked not to answer until the end of the ipcress-style brainwashing we were about to endure***.
At the end of the torture he asked us if we had any answer.
One of my fellow Regicidal conspirators**** piped up "because drivers are going too fast to stop if a pedestrian walks out in fromt of them so they swerve and hit oncoming traffic"*****
The grand inquisitor nearly spluffed as he realised his constant use of the bastinado had finally broken the will of the heretic****** and caused in a pavlovian way the correct answer to be parrotted by rote.
I then spoke up. "Excuse me? Could you tell me if it's wrong to run over a pedestrian to save my own life?" "Also, could you show me on my licence where it says that I'm responsible for the safety of those too stupid to look where they're going?"
Torquemada looked stunned and tried to reason with me " you're not seriously saying you'd run someone over if they walked in front of your car!? What if it was a child!?!?!"




I replied "YES! IT'S THEM OR ME, I'M IN A CAR AND THEY ARE NOT THEREFORE IT'S GONNA BE THEM! DO THE MATH! ONE PEDESTRIAN OR TWO DRIVERS".

They told me to leave.
I got a round of applause though!
*I was doing 34 in a 30 zone at 3:28 a.m I wa sthe only car I saw in a 17 mile trip.
**Other speeding drivers, not one being done for over 34mph
*** the most piss-boring condescending inaccurate drivel it has ever been my misfortune to endure. Even worse than Big Brother, no really!!
****See ** above.
***** 100%True, apparently!
****** See ** above.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 26 Sep 2007, 17:42, Reply)