Close friends
My best friend, Poo (as that is the name i call her), are very close. Close enough to talk about intimate details with each other. We had farting competitions when we went away on holiday. We've discussed the intricacies of our favourite sexual positions (complete with crotch movements). Back when Poo and I were school mates, she left a large, brightly coloured note pinned to my locker. "Hey Chicken, I've gone home for the day because my ovaries exploded."

Unfortunately we have a habit of having such conversations in public and not realising until it's too late.

Once in McDonalds, our conversation turned to our bowel movements, like it often does. We are both lactose intolerant.

Me: It's so embarrassing when it happens at my boyfriend's house. His house has really thin walls and I'm afraid his whle family will hear my trumpeting bum.

Poo: That reminds me of when I was at Alexis's house once. I drank a lovely glass of milk, right, and half an hour later I had to run to their bathroom. I was so embarassed, it was right next to their kitchen! So I tried not to be noisy, but you know how the more you try not to let it out, the worse it is? It was one of those crying poos, you know.

Me: Crying poos?

Poo: You know when your poos actually hurt? And you're like "Boo hoo hoo... *splurt*...wahh, wahhh *plop*"...

At this point, we heard a chair scrape loudly as the woman behind us stood up and walked away briskly, pissing herself laughing. TMI? Maybe for her, but not for us!

Apologies for length, but it IS my first post.
(TheChicken Five hundred thousand points from Gryffindor, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 12:07, Reply)