Another vasectomy or 'My brother's aubergines'
My older brother's vasectomy (a necessity due to his six kids and his unwillingness to leave his wife alone) went terribly wrong and he ended up with a badly inflamed pair of nuts that strongly resembled two aubergines.

Always one to get his roll-of-carpet-style cock out and wave it for the slightest reason, those balls where in everyone's face. Only my wife, who threatened to wallop them with her keys if he came close, was spared this ordeal.

Eventually the infection turned very bad, he developed a new third-testical-like growth and became very depressed (compounded by the six kids), scratched his eyebrows off and lost himself in a haze of anti-depressants and recreational substances.

He ended going mental after a cocktail of drugs and booze and, after scaling the house, falling off the roof and breaking his foot he tried to murder his wife who only managed to stop him strangling her by biting his long, manically protruding tongue.

This was all too much information for my middle class in-laws who are not at all happy about being tied to a Jeremy Kyle episode by wedlock and remain convinced that my brother's kids will all become a mob loons, druggists and hookers.

The upside is, I can now pull any old shit and always look good compared to my brother.
(mudflaps, Fri 7 Sep 2007, 16:53, Reply)