where to start?
first a guilty secret, my mother used to be a child minder and the other day i saw a girl she used to look after after school and my first thought was "fucking hell, i wouldnt mind splitting her in two" should i feel bad because i was thinking about shagging someone who i knew when she was 8 or because she is ginger?

now back to the topic at hand

i often feel that my sister needs to know the specific details of day to day living

for example after returning from work and having a shower i walked into the living room an announced to her that i was not wearing any boxers (followed by me proving my point by pulling down my trakkie bottoms a little and showing her a bit of arse followed by a bit of thrusting)

while at uni i had a rather detailed conversation (while stoned off my tits) about piles with a female friend and how i didnt enjoy pushing them back in i think she liked pushing hers back in but the whole time another friends whose room it was we were getting stoned in was sat on the floor screaming at us to stop talking

a couple of years ago i went to the leeds festival and she (my sister) went to reading after i got back home she called me to ask how it had went, i told her that i didnt wash or change my clothes at all during the weekend and i had just had a shower and it felt great to have clean testicles once more (it did feel great)

and while im on the subject of leeds i did try and go the whole weekend without going number 2 but i had to admit defeat on the second day, after dropping a monster load born of chips and lager i decided to text one of my mates and tell him i had just dropped half a stone and i was as hollow as a rather hollow thing, i accidentally sent it to my dad he didnt see the funny side of it

there are probably plenty more examples i could add maybe ill post them when i remember them

length? it was about as long as my forearm, all curled up like a walnut whip and the flush in the portaloo was broken
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Sun 9 Sep 2007, 18:51, Reply)