It was written all over his face...
Sometimes you don't need to actually HEAR the story to realise you've been told too much.

There used to be a lad called Andy who lived a few streets away from me before his folks divorced and he moved away with his mum. Andy was the sort of typical mate you have when you're 15 as I was at the time; long nights spent on the playstation, smoking and talking shite. He was also 'the kid who could get unlimited porn' which meant I was round his house quite a lot.

I went round one evening after school and his dad answered the door, said hello and said "just go on up". Climbing the stairs I could hear the usual strains of Rage Against The Machine coming from his room and I shouted "Killing In The Name Of!" as I reached the top of the stairs. I could hear some commotion coming from his room and as I approached his door flew open and he burst past me to the bathroom mumbling something about needing a piss.

Too slow. For both of us. I'd seen it. The full lob tenting his tracksuit bottoms and his face looking like... well, like one of the teasers from www2.b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/

I sat in his room waiting for him, watching the brand new porno that was still playing in the video and pieced it together.

My mate, on obtaining new porn had just cum in his own face.

Being a friend, the only people I've ever told this too are his 2 friends Richard and James, his first girlfriend, all my other mates and now the whole internet.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Mon 10 Sep 2007, 20:40, Reply)