Too much informationRakky writes "A friend of mine, when quizzed why she was late to the pub, announced 'I was at accident and emergency, having a stuck tampon removed. They had to have a right old dig around for it.' Suffice to say, no one was interested in their Scampi Fries after that."
When have you shared just that little too much?
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chthonic, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 10:09)
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How NOT to discover infidelityI was originally going to tell how a friend of mine at Uni, let's call him DD, once told the story of how the ceiling of his room became stained.
We were in our college bar just passing the time, discussing the tedious stuff we'd been up to the night before, when he chipped in with the following. With her sat with us, as well as a couple of people he'd not met before and the token Christian virgin, he explained in great detail how he'd been shagging his GF, her on top, facing away from him (I mentioned the detail, didn't I?). She was bouncing up and down, more and more enthusiastically, when suddenly she slipped off. Just at the moment of climax. So, he claimed, his ejaculate hit the ceiling and then dripped down onto his face. Eyes open, mouth open.
He then turned to his GF, gave her a tenner and asked her to get a round in (this wasn't unusual - she was so fit she always got served quickest). Whilst she was at the bar, he added a footnote to his story.
"Don't tell (GF) I told you, but I was fucking her arse!"
However, bringing that story to mind also reminded me of an earlier tale of his. Again, we're in the college bar (this was a bit of a theme of my university career). Again, DD is at a table of relative strangers, including a gorgeous girl who later became the GF of the story above. This, however, was the story of how he'd discovered that his girlfriend from back home in Hull had been unfaithful to him. He’d gone to visit her that weekend – not unannounced, oh no, they’d arranged it weeks previously because it was her birthday.
He told us how he’d met up with her straight after she’d finished work. They’d had a few drinks with some of her work colleagues before going back to her place to make up for lost time.
Because it was her birthday he decided he’d warm her up by going down on her first. After much licking and fingering of her clitoris and vagina, she climaxed. Her muscles spasmed, she arched her back, she cried out in ecstasy. A thin stream of spunk trickled out of her cunt.
Apparently her boss had given her a birthday present, too.
(, Tue 11 Sep 2007, 17:27, Reply)
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