that reminds me
the cat being wanked bit - of when my mum gave me the 'birds and the bees' talk. she really wanted to say nothing, but i was 17, had a boyfriend (and was already frantically banging him at every available opportunity, but she didn't know that).

she was washing the dogs in the bath after a very muddy walk, and was drying one of them off with a towel when i came in and told her i was going on the pill because of 'heavy periods'. so my dear mum panicked, and as she had a dog flipped onto his back in a towel on her lap, he bore the brunt of her panic. mum was rubbing his tummy to dry it, but as she got more embarrassed at her topic of conversation, she was rubbing him further and further down the tummy. hard. the dog was yowling and yelping, and wriggling to get free, as she may have been castrating him too. all this so she could say to me 'so, um, you know about safe sex?' me: 'yup'. mum: 'ok' (her blushing furiously the whole time).

the dog meanwhile had escaped to a safe place to lick his tender balls and ensure that they were still attached.

length - quite short and rubbed raw for the poor animal after that...

(sorry about lack of relevance...)
( ascorbate, Wed 12 Sep 2007, 14:43, Reply)