OK, time for a really filthy story
There was this man at a restaurant with his wife, and he was quite taken with the music that the pianist was playing. So after the meal, he went and had a word with the bloke, saying how much he'd enjoyed the music, even though he'd heard none of it before.

"Oh, I write it all myself", said the pianist.

"I really liked that last piece", said the man. "What was it called?"

"That one was 'I love you so much I could shite'", replied the pianist.

The man was quite taken aback, but asked him about the previous tune.

"Oh, that one was a favourite - it's called 'I shag my wife's arse then cum on her tits'" said the pianist.

The man was again quite shocked, but explained to the pianist that it was his daughter's 21st the following week, and she was having a posh dinner party for her friends and would like a pianist. The pianist agreed to come along, but the man warned him he'd have to keep quiet about the names of the tunes.

The following week, the party is going well. Everyone is loving the piano music. Eventually, the man goes to the pianist and tells him to take 5 minutes. The pianist, being a randy sod, and having been surrounded by 21 year old lovelies, disappears off to the toilet for a wank.

5 minutes later he comes back, flushed and a bit dishevelled and also with his fly open. He sits down to play again, but the man goes over to him to point out his faux pas.

"Excuse me, but do you know your fly's open and your cock's leaking spunk down your trousers?" he said, in hushed tones.

"Know it?" said the pianist in a loud voice. "Of course I do, I fucking wrote it!"

Boom, tish.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 13 Sep 2007, 11:42, Reply)