I haven't got any direct stories, but a few friends have regaled me with some classics
No 1:

A friend of mine, who after dissappearing off the face of the planet turned up in woods just outside Plymouth, living in a tent. Apparently he decided that paying rent wasn't for him, so he became a free loading hippy. I only tell you this as his story was borne from his time spent in a hostel at some point in his past......... The hostel was populated by the homeless, drunk, derranged, and in some cases the heavily retarded. A character described to the author as "Slaggy Maggie" apparently a drunk former prostitute, used to "offer out" all and sundry for sexual favours, in exchange for cans of Kestrel. A thoroughly upstanding member of society. Apparently there was one heavily retarded guy staying at the same hostel, one day he came running in to the main room of the hostel where everybody was hanging out screaming his head off, and completely uncontrolable. After calming him down somewhat everyone started to enquire as to how he came to be in such a state, he would not however divulge any of the particulars of the incident that caused him such distress, but cited Slaggy Maggie as the source. Salggy Maggie turns up a few minutes later, and being in jovial spirits, is more than happy to divulge the circumstance behind the young mans demise......... apparently she'd been giving him a blow job and whilst in the full throws of the act her false teeth had come off and had been left basically clamped to the root of the poor blokes cock.

No. 2:

A friend of a friend was out on the piss on evening, and having spunked all of his cash on the hardest drinks available, was in the unfortunate position of being completely and utterly incapable of making his way home. It being a fine summers evening a stagger home seemed the only option available, and thus he began his crusade for bed, and the subsequent hangover....... Our hero eventually gets to a park, he some how manages to scale the fence and begins walking through the park. After a while he resigns himself to defeat and lays down on a bench. He falls into a deep and peaceful sleep. Whatever tomorrow brings, let it be............. Our hero wakes in the night with a distinct feeling of wet around his groinal area. In the drunken half slumber he leaves it a minute and tries to gether his thoughts.... he opens his eyes and sits up to find a male tramp giving him a blow job........... eventually our hero made it home, apparently the tramp did not manage to withdraw his salty prize.
(Randyqueen Hangin' out the back of Lady Boys, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:56, Reply)