I have two.
One's a good friend but quite infuriating, the other one's a bellend.

Number one is just ridiculously incapable of understanding anyone else's position. I think it's some sort of autism.

He will arrange to meet you and then turn up hours late because he was busy doing something. And not text to let you know. He once organised a night out in London with a few friends, then didn't turn up. We phoned him and it turned out he'd decided to stay home and watch TV instead. He'd not thought to tell us. Two of us had got the train down from Birmingham for it.

He also gets upset about ridiculous stuff wherever you go. He has complained in a restaurant before because they wouldn't give us a table. We hadn't got a reservation, had never been there before, and it was a busy Saturday night. He also once got us thrown out of a pub because he genuinely thought the landlord was being ridiculous for asking him not to eat his own sandwiches in the bar. He had a job at one point where he threatened to quit because they wanted him to go to a meeting in Germany one week, with about two months notice. He didn't fancy it. His job involved European sales and it was the first trip they'd asked him to go on. The most terrifying thing is that he now has a wife who's exactly the same. The last time I went for a pint with them, I was sat on my own with a book for two hours. Then they turned up and complained to the manager because the bar had stopped taking food orders. It was 10:30.

And then there's our mutual friend Simon, who I haven't seen for about 18 months now. Simon and I used to live together. He's alright in some ways, but he has similar problems with understanding other people's position. To the point where when we lived together, and I had a job, he brought a dozen randoms back from the pub for a party after chucking-out on a Wednesday night, and then drank all my booze from my cupboard, and thought I was totally unreasonable for asking them to keep it down. We got over that, and then he moved his girlfriend in without a word of consultation. I asked if she was going to pay any rent or bills, and he said it was fine because she was giving him money for it.

Oh, and the other thing about Simon is that he's a prick when he's drunk, and gets into fights, then gets upset when you don't back him up. He weighs about 8 stone and is soft.

The weirdest thing about Simon, though, is that he's a massive racist, and has Daily Mail style views on immigrants, 'ghetto' black people, and Asians. Which is odd considering he's black and the child of immigrants....
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 17:35, Reply)