Off topic and not so much a Twat but....
There are a couple of people on here who know me IRL. WE have a mate called Gerry. A lovely man, but the kind of guy where the eyes don't quite line up with the holes - Y'know, the kind of guy where reality and normality are just things that happen to other people.
Gerry is known as 'The late Gerry'. He's not dead, just late. For FUCKING EVERYTHING. There is a concept in the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy books of the 'reciprinverexcluson' a number or thing which is everything other than itself. THAT's Gerry's idea of time. If he tells you he'll 'be there at two' that's the only time he WILL NOT be there, the universe would implode if Gerry was actually on time. At his last milestone birthday he got, as presents, fifteen alarm clocks and twelve wristwatches (three of them from me).
He didn't get the hint.
Just last week he arranged (at about 11 a:m) to meet Pooflake at the pub to get his laptop sorted out. Pooflake informed him that he HAD TO BE GONE BY 4 - not a nanosecond later. What time did Gerry turn up?
10 to 4.
And then proceeded to get the hump that Pooflake wouldn't stay after 4.

I love the guy but how much of a bellend do you have to be to have no concept of time and no respect for other people's commitments at over 50 years of age?

I know it's not in the spirit or even the letter of the question, but I just had to get it off my chest.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 18:52, 1 reply)

You didn't even mention the rambling...

The late Gerry is one of those 'thinks he knows it all, but actually knows fuck all' people. He disguises this character flaw by rambling on and on about subjects until you lose the will to live. He once left me a voicemail that I turned off after about 10 droning minutes which felt like a thousand years...

(Yes, I know who I am and am aware of the ironing)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 23 Sep 2013, 10:35, closed)