Body Combat
This kind of thing has happened to many times I get confused between what is anxiety dreams and what has actually happened. I posted before about the sunbathing on the Costa Brava when the ice cream vendor refused to come over, and I didn't realise for hours that it was because my swimming shorts were ripped from front to back and I had been lying there with my burning cock on display, entire families scattering in fear and confusion. My friend understood Spanish and told me the ice cream man actually cursed me.

But I'll tell the story of the time I decided to try "Body Combat" at LA Fitness, Brighton branch.

Body Combat is an exercise class combining dynamic fighting techniques with all the fun of an aerobics class (or something). The truth is its just dancing about. Its for girls really, and little gay fellas. I'm somewhere between the two, so I loved it.

I was the only man in the class and I enjoyed the attention, but not this time - we were doing an exercise which involved loads of Karate Kid "crane" style high kicks. It was set to "The Final Countdown", and we were getting to the last chorus before I saw my red-faced, grinning reflection in the mirror, and realised that my shorts, along with that useless webbing stuff inside, had torn wide open and my genitals were flapping up and down in time with the music. The girls that had noticed were trying to look away and nobody said anything, but if elephants had cocks like mice, then I would be the elephant in that room.

As the next exercise (stretching to Prince's "Nothing Compares to You") involved bending over and grabbing my ankles, I excused myself before the teenage girl behind me was treated to a real-life ginger goatse.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:16, 2 replies)

Fuck me!
That has just had me pissing myself!
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 28 May 2009, 16:10, closed)

You need
stronger shorts

Click-worthy :)
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:08, closed)