Holiday preparations
It all started out so innocuously, too.

A good few years back, myself and chap-at-the-time were one of the few people in our social group who had a place of their own, instead of living with the parents still. As a result, our house used to be the place to go to play games, watch footy or just hang out in general.

It was summer, and about five or so of the lads were off on a trip to the partyland of Ibiza. And very excited about it they were too. A few of them had popped over the day or so before they were due to leave, in order to catch up on what they planned to do (this included a list of chatup lines, with points awarded for the success of each, but that's another story).

Drinks are being drunk, bollocks is being talked... The usual. After a while, one of the fellas, let's call him John for the sake of argument, asks if he can use the bathroom. Not an unreasonable request, so we agree and off he goes.

After a good 15 minutes, it occurs to us that he must be having the mother of all pees, since he hasn't come down yet. Hmm, strange. After another 5, we're about to go launch a search party, when we hear footsteps coming down the stairs. About bloody time, I think, and turn round as he walks through the lounge door to berate him for his tardiness.

How I wish I hadn't done that.

He's standing there, stark bollock naked. And shaven. completely so, from head to toe, aside from that on his head. I have never seen a group of people shocked into silence quite like that before. Unperturbed he grins and says "What do you think then? Birds love a shaved man, seriously fucking LOVE it." And proceeds to give us a twirl. "Be great for pulling in Ibiza, won't it?"

It wouldn't have been quite so bad, if I hadn't gone up there myself at the end of the night to discover the bastard had used my LadyShave.
(Kitimariana, Thu 28 May 2009, 17:31, Reply)