Odd lady in Oxford
Early noughties. Dunno if she's still about.

I used to see her wandering around town, mostly around the Cowley Road. Big lady, middle-aged, always wore tee shirt and skirt.

She was fairly aggressive and shouty, so I tended to steer clear if I saw her coming.

On one occasion, though, I didn't have enough forewarning. I walked around a corner to find her about 10 feet in front of me, walking towards me.

I stopped in my tracks, she looked me straight in the eye, then hitched up her skirts to reveal several rolls of fat over what looked like a blacksmith's apron, and took a piss on the pavement that was like a jet from a firehose. I was genuinely impressed that a woman's anatomy could expel urine with such force.

Unsure how else to react, I just said 'Hello' cheerily and walked round her.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 28 May 2009, 18:27, 9 replies)

Is this a pearoast?
If not then I've heard this story from someone else.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 28 May 2009, 18:36, closed)

Not a pearoast
As from comments below - she obviously gets around a bit
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 28 May 2009, 21:14, closed)

Huh.
She sounds charming.
(almightyjoey is most likely listening to Electric Wizard on, Thu 28 May 2009, 18:44, closed)

she's still around alright,
last seen a few nights ago squatting by the bins round the back of the Hobgoblin.
( Ralph farts in your general direction, Thu 28 May 2009, 18:53, closed)

Ah...
dreaming spires
( monkeybananaraffle, Thu 28 May 2009, 19:12, closed)

"...then hitched up her skirts to reveal several rolls of fat over what looked like a blacksmith's apron"
I fucking love this site.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:43, closed)

Nicked from Viz's Profanisaurus...
...an invaluable reference tool for descriptive terms for ladybits
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:35, closed)

She's still here!
She once came up to me and asked me earnestly if I was a mermaid. I replied with an emphatic 'yes', so she carried on staring straight into my eyes and asking if I could talk to fish. Not waiting for an answer she took a swig of whatever was in her bottle, put her headphones on and started dancing and singing.

I also once saw her standing starkers in a phone box at Carfax.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 31 May 2009, 14:34, closed)

Yes
Same women. I'd forgotten about the headphones, but yes - often just singing along or dancing .
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sun 31 May 2009, 20:25, closed)