Witches Grimoire
My ex missus' best friend Mandy, had bought a house. Nothing new there..she was always moving. After a year or two, she would get bored and her builder boyfriend would have to 'do up' yet another project..

They bought an old house with plenty of work needed to keep them busy for the next 12 months or whatever.

Anyway, they took the floorboards up for some reason, and they found an old book, a grimoire, full of spells and incantations, real nasty stuff too, like spells on how to kill somebody to the lightly absurd.. how to give somebody a headache (my ex wife managed that quite easily, and she wasn't a witch.. lol)

Disturbed by what they read, she threw it away and thought nothing of it.

The next day. The book returned. It was sat on a table. So she threw it away again, and yep you guessed it, the next day it turned up again.

In the end, they returned the book from where they found it, under the floorboards, and quickly sold the house.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 10:51, 12 replies)

and then
she felt a strange itching of the chin that just wouldn't go away....

...and then they heard a ghostly voice moaning

'chiiiiny reckonnnn, chinnny reckonnn....'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:04, closed)

well I will leave it up to you to decide..I believed her.
She was dizzy at best.. kind of like the one off Vicar of Dibley. But she wasn't a liar.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:08, closed)

@ Monty Boyce
Also "Jeffreys got an itchy chin"
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:37, closed)

That sounds about right for a 'bad book'
www.bbc.co.uk/guernsey/content/articles/2004/07/21/folklore_books_feature.shtml
( Milgigan Double, Single, Single, Double., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:40, closed)

"returned the book from where they found it"
"returned the book TO where they found it"

I proofread for a living, sorry
(Dangermouse., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:53, closed)

yes, you're right. many apologies for my gramatical ignorance
:D

Its like the song Valerie.

"and I think of all the things, what you doin".

cringes. No wonder the yoof of today can't talk proper
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:55, closed)

@milgigan
Thank you for the link. It must have been one of those books..no question about it.

She was really freaked out by it, bless her, like I said, she was a bit of an Alice Tinker, but she wasn't a liar.

She didn't dare read a single spell in case somebody dropped down dead.. I'm glad she didn't.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:01, closed)

The worst of all:
'Live and Let Die'

'And in this ever-changing world in which we live in...'

IN WHICH WE FUCKING LIVE IN?

Makes me MAD I tell you, MAAAAD!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:06, closed)

haha
:D
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 4 Jul 2008, 16:25, closed)

Monty Boyce -
it's actually 'in which we're living' but Paul doesn't enunciate it very well.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 18:05, closed)

Shit!
Really? Creepy as hell.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 1:40, closed)

On the whole song lyric thing
A had a song called "Nothing" in which they stated:

"If we ain't got that then we ain't got much
And we ain't got nothing"

I'd be quite happy if I didn't have nothing, he seemed quite annoyed...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 11:43, closed)