Lost, one cuddly maniac, answers to Fluffy.
My friend had a scary experience a few years back when he lived on a farm. He was used to the dark etc, but this particular night, he was inexplicably terrified, for no other reason than he KNEW something was watching him from the darkness. Not only that, but the animals kept close to the farm knew it, they were all spooked too.

My friend cowered inside the farm, with his also cowering dogs, until it just passed and the fear just lifted.

The next night it happened again. He felt something was stalking him round the farm, though couldn't put a finger on what, just the hair on his neck standing up etc.

So, he did what all good countrymen should do, and that was to tool up and prepare to blow the shit out of whatever was scaring him and the livestock.

He had "found" some night-vision sights somewhere ( I have no idea M'lud, honest) , and scanned round the perimeter of the farm, and duly came across what he described as "the most evil pair of eyes" he had ever seen, watching him. Green (obviously, due to the sight), and "just like you imagine a devil would have" (like Tony Blair's on that poster). Not only that, but the eyes narrowed when he scanned onto them and the head they were in bobbed down. Moments later, they popped up again further along the hedge. My friend was no coward, in fact, I'd say pretty trigger-happy, but he couldn't force himself to pop a lead surprise between these 2 evil eyes, he was actually too frightened. So he sat it out, again.

Several days later, not having discussed his visitor with anyone, his neighbour reported having stock enviscerated in a nearby field, as if by a madman. My friend knew his little friend with the evil eyes was responsible, but said nothing. Night after night he was visited, there being a palpable cloak of fear thrown over his smallholding for an hour or so each night. He watched the eyes bobbing round the edge of the light thrown out by his farm, as if it was looking for a way in, probing for a weak spot.

Then one day it stopped. Just like that. In his local the neighbours were discussing something that had happened up the road, where a chap had happened upon something with evil eyes caught in his headlights while he was lamping. He had no pussy qualms though and promptly capped it.

The animal in question turned out to be a fucking Wolverine, a ferocious mammal, known for its cunning and bravery. So, mystery solved.......

Apart from what the fuck a Wolverine was doing stalking rural Warwickshire, a long way from its natural home of Arctic Russia/Sweden/Norway/Canada etc. No zoo owned up to losing one, and it doesn't fit the profile of a cuddly exotic pet, they stink and are bad tempered (kinda like me).

And no, it wasn't one of the fucking X-men
(Rsoles, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 20:32, Reply)