Failed to follow the correct procedure.
A few years back, when I was at college, we marked the passing of another Friday by all going to the pub and getting drunk. At one point in the evening a foul odour seemed to envelope the group.

'Fucking hell, what's that smell?'
'Have you trod in dogshit?'
'Some dirty cunt has shit themselves.'

It was towards the end of the night and we all went our separate ways. The following Monday the topic eventually raised its head and we discovered that one of our number had popped for a shit, but was so pissed that they completely forgot to drop their trousers and pants before sitting down.

He told us that he was standing there with us thinking 'Yeah, what is that smell?' before it dawned on him that he was standing there with a dinner egg sitting snug in his undercrackers. He had snuck out the side door into the carpark and went home along the towpath because the experience had sobered him up enough to know that no Taxi driver would go anywhere near him.

He carefully removed the offending articles on the way home, under cover of darkness, and hung them on the branch of a tree- In much the same way that a horrible cunt would.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:58, 3 replies)

Excellent username here.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:17, closed)

Crying
I've been a lurker for a while, and this post is the exact reason that I read QOTW. I got to 'dinner egg' and I cracked up (pardon the punnage) for a good five minutes.

Bravo.
(Chairman Lmao Something something your mum, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 20:49, closed)

It takes a 'special' kind of person
to shit themselves whilst sitting on the toilet.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 21:12, closed)