The houseparty was on the third floor of a house in Camden
The hostess's boyfriend had, about six months previously, tried to climb the outside of this building at 3am while utterly wankered, fallen off and impaled himself on an iron fence below. It nearly killed him - if not for a passer-by who had called 999 because they thought he'd been shot he would probably have bled out in the street. This was the first time he'd been back out in public since then, having spent the intervening time bedridden and counting his lucky stars that the railing hadn't punctured anything vital. So to celebrate his not-deadness he'd invited a bunch of people over, including myself and our mutual friend little Don.

Anyway, we were a little bit late and quite pissed when we got there...to be greeted with everyone leaving the party ashen-faced and making their way elsewhere as soon as humanly possible. "What's going on?" I asked a friend of a friend as they scurried by. "Little Don's fallen out of the window," they replied. Fuck.

Fortunately one of my companions that evening was a paramedic, and although he'd left his ambulance at the station we convinced the hostess that he'd be the best person to have a look in the circumstances. She led him through to the back garden where little Don was lying.

As it turned out, little Don was fine. He'd avoided the metal fence and indeed anything else that could have caused him any injury and thanks to the very relaxed state in which he'd fallen out of the window in the first place had fallen three stories with only minor bruises. Taking him back upstairs, we got the party started again and carried on almost as if nothing had happened.

I say almost, at one point little Don turned to me and pointed to the window. "Go on," he said. "Jump out. I did it and I'm all right."

Peer pressure is a frightening thing.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 16:14, 6 replies)

Shame you didn't try it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 16:34, closed)

I do all my own stunts

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 16:39, closed)

I really can't be bothered with strikethroughs any more.
Just imagine I did eh?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 16:41, closed)

Fair enough
Pretend that I wrote something pithy in response
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 17:16, closed)

Promoting his films.
U r doing it rong.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 18 Feb 2013, 19:52, closed)

Eh, there's not much point
the DVD release has been pushed back again to accommodate a Spanish cinema release
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 10:14, closed)