I should be ashamed.
I was staying in Haad Rin on sunny Koh pangan with a mate when the people in the bungalow next to us started making shit loads of noise at around four in the morning. It was obvious a mate had just turned up who they hadn't seen in ages, and thinking that sleep was a thing of the past for the rest of the night, we decided to head out on our bikes.

After an hour or so of aimlessly riding around I suggested we head to Domsila viewpoint. I'm sure a few of you have been there, but for those that haven't, you park up your bike, walk half way up a mountain through some rain forest and for your efforts reach a little rocky plateau with a wooden platform and amazing views of half the island. It really is quite something.

So we were sat on the viewpoint, the early morning sun had just come up, the birds were singing in the jungle, a really really good moment in my life. I sparked up a spliff, and started telling my mate about the time I had had a wank up there for no other reason than half the island could see me, then a plan was hatched.

In short we wanked into some Thai Air sick bags, then wrote about what we had done on the floor, left the cum filled sick bags next to our graffiti and buggered off safe in the knowledge that every backpacker that went up there that day would be throughly disgusted.

Here's a picture.

Notice we signed our names. I pointed out to my mate that every farang we met for the rest of our time on the island would probably have seen our handy work, and we should change our names. We settled on Bernard and Trevor.

As you can see from the date, the next day was Star Wars day. We were out celebrating- we had had a cake made and everything- when we got chatting to a couple of nice Scouse girls. Things were going well and I had started to think that with a bit more effort we might be in. At that point I realised I didn't have a pen. Feeling a bit panicky- I hate not having a pen, what if I want to write something down?- I headed out to buy one.

When I returned- all smiles and brandishing my shiny new pen- I was met with cold steely glares and looks of disgust. I asked my mate what had happened. In my absence, the girls had asked what our names were, to which he had replied, ' I'm Hooch and my mate is Tom'.

Bugger.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 10 Oct 2010, 20:31, Reply)