My Worst VomitWe all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
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chthonic, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
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Ooh, Just thought of another, less humiliating one that doesn't involve meWhen I was in 10 or 11 at school, for our end of term assembly we had a special treat- the Magic Man came to visit! Towards the end of the show he asked for a volunteer to help him- and ignoring the forest of hands that shot up he chose little Jack Emery, who was several years below me and was infamous for fainting at the sight of blood (years later, he had to be carried out of the school chapel after watching a sketch where somebody popped a sachet of tomato ketchup in their pocket as they pretended to get shot).
The magician had a hat, and wanted Jack to look inside it, as that's where he kept his friend James the Goblin. It was wonderful- everyone in the hall except the poor oblivious Magic Man knew exactly what was about to happen. Even the teachers were beginning to give each other funny looks and bracing themselves for a dash to get towels and a mop.
There's an expectant hush. Jack Emery looks in the hat, James the Goblin (a handpuppet of course) jumps out- and the Magic Man promptly gets covered head to toe in a deluge of partially digested liver and onions as little Jack screams in terror. Apparently he was so scared he also simultaneously wet and shat himself.
I think James the Goblin was probably retired after that little episode.
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Shrub Rocketeer is a twisted emotional husk, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 22:22,
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