My Worst VomitWe all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
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chthonic, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
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Port BingeA mate... we'll call him Ogwen, Once went on a bender with a bottle of port. Though not entirely disasterous, the result was lasting and artistic.
In bed, suffering badly, and far from sober, Ogwen feels the up-surge. Being a lad of habit, the instinct was not to look for a recepticle... it was to aim for the bathroom.
Question.... do you get out of bed on the side nearest to your bedroom door, or do you get out of the side FURTHEST away from the door, and run around the bed. Our hero chose the latter.
Question. Hold your shirt over your mouth and managed to collect the gack.... or try and stem the flow with your fingers? Again, the latter was employed.
From the room below we all witnesed a mad thumping noise as Ogwen attempted the round the bed journey... this was accompanied by the splattering noise: his vom spraying out through his fingers and squirting the port-coloured barf EVERYWHERE. The cheap white Ikea furniture bore the marks till we left the house. That shit STAINED. there was also splatter marks on the ceiling. 10/10 for effort.
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Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 20 Aug 2004, 9:23,
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