Clean it up!
Last October, I was invited to someone's 18th birthday bash, so of course I went. Now, I don't drink very often, but I can drink a pint pretty quick, so whenever I went to the bar, it was only a couple of minutes before my drink was gone. 3 hours and 10 (maybe 11) pints later, I'm in the taxi that I ordered before I left, and felt fine after the ride. I walked (in a straight line, no less, because I didn't really feel pissed) into my dad's house, and made myself a glass of water, and that's when I needed an enormous crap. So, I rushed to the bathroom, and went about spraying the bowl. I sat there for a few minutes because I couldn't be arsed wiping up just yet, but after a bit, I knew I was gonna barf. So, instead of standing up then, and turning around gracefully, I waited until it was about to happen, span around vomiting all over the bathroom, and sprayed half of what was left all over the seat.

That's not quite it though. As I mentioned earlier, I was feeling rather lazy, so I didn't want to clean up. As I was on my own, I just lay on the floor amongst the vomit (which had big lumps of sausage from the casserole I had before I left) and waited about half an hour for my dad and his girlfriend to return. When they came in, I pulled my pants up (they were quite soggy, unfortunately) so that it would be decent for me to summon them in. They came in, saw what I had done, and my dad said "Oh that was silly" in a particularly daddish manner. His girlfriend then helped me into bed, leaving my dad to clean up my alcohol fuelled, sausage filled spew! Haha!
(Keiths Dad, Sat 21 Aug 2004, 0:11, Reply)