My Worst VomitWe all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
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chthonic, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
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Excuse me pleaseOnce when I was about 15 I was in a club. A very poor local type of club with lame music and cheap watered down metallic tasting drinks! Anyway on this said night, I had consumed about 5 pints of Fosters Club (The worst). Ok so far and then I had a bright idea, I was getting "bored" of the pints of Club so I grabbed a pint of Red Rock Cider. Down it went.
Leaning over a railing with the crappy soundsystem straining my ear drums, the 2nd hand Silk Cut smoke wafting over me I began to feel quite queasy.
I am a civilized chap so I made my way to the gents knowing what was inevitable.
I made it to the toilet. 3 ladies were blocking the entrance.
"Excuse me" I said
"Excuse me please"
"Excuse me please, I must get passed"
Suddenly a huge violent bile beer foam power vomit projected itself straight all over one of these stupid fucks pushed up tits, all over her tits and then some.
That made them get out of the way and as I barged my way passed I heard one of them squeak "That's fucking disgusting!"
So I made it in knelt before the throne and dealt with it, all the while thinking that when I emerged some knuckle dragging goon would be out there waiting for me "You fuckin' puked on my bird cunt?"
I pushed my way outside. No one, no vomit girls no boyfriends. I felt much better and pleased with myself too.
(, Sun 22 Aug 2004, 12:32, Reply)
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