My Worst VomitWe all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
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chthonic, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
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Nude vomitingChristmas Eve is always a good excuse for a drink, with festive cheers and pubs open till twelve. For some reason, I decided that the toilets in the pub weren't good enough, so walked outside and proceeded to piss up the wall. The night air hit me and I managed to collapse straight back, lying in the pub car park and pissing all over my chest. A large piece of wood with a small nail in had luckily cushioned my head, so when I did sit up it was with a swinging wooded ponytail protruding from my head. After removing said wood, the best option was to sit down, which I did on a low wall of a neighbouring house, waking up some time later in the garden with a man shouting at me for lying in his rosebush. What else for a good Catholic lad to do than sway into Midnight Mass? (Luckily, God's bouncers kept me out of the church with a firm push - vomiting at Midnight Mass was a common event). Got back to parent's house and stripped off (they were at Midnight Mass - close escape) then went to the toilet to be sick. Unfortunately, squatting and vomiting led to the other end opening, with the result of a heavily shit-stained lino floor in the bathroom. Waking up ther next morning with no idea of whether I'd cleaned it up was NOT the best way to celebrate ickle Baby Jeebus' birthday, though it was never mentioned, so I assume I mopped my way to redemption.
Apologies for length of poo.
(, Sun 22 Aug 2004, 15:47, Reply)
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