Dracula....
Once when I was a much younger and sillier lad I had a major crush on a girl I studied with. She was amazing, long chesnut hair, aerobics instructor (you'll have to use your imagination for the long long legs and so on).

One night I thought that I was possibly in with a chance. I'd been trying my best lines and attempting to be as charming as is feasible given my meagre talents and obvious grotesque features. The dinner jacket helped though.

After we'd had a few bottles of red wine each (me I think 3 and a half, her I think just the one) we went back to her place. We sit, chatting, for an hour or so and things are going well. I suddenly feel the urge to return the wine to the vine and suavely sprint to the nearest toilet. I throw up for 5 minutes and it's mainly liquid which was fortunate, and mainly red wine which at least was still relatively fresh and fragrant. I then return to where I thought I had left off.

Sadly, my luck wasn't in that night and I ended up walking home, dejected. When I went to grab a drink of water in the bathroom at home before collapsing into a coma, I realised one potential cause of my failure to score.

After being sick I had neglected to take the time to fully mop myself up. I had bright bright red teeth, lips and chin and some nice red dribbles on my shirt - I looked like I'd been drinking blood....
(lolly, Mon 23 Aug 2004, 12:04, Reply)