One to tell the Grand-kids
It was about a year ago and me and a few mates were on a regular mid-week after work piss up. Many, many beers later and we decided to head back home. Now I was feeling pretty worse for wear at Charing Cross station but the up and down, side to side motion of a moving train was just too much and I was about to vom any minute so I’ve got up and made my way to the only toilet on the train.

Bear in mind that this was one of those old style trains with a whole carriage dedicated to four or five 1st class compartments and a small corridor running up the side, and the only toilet on the train happened to be at the end of this corridor. Now I could feel it rising in up my throat as I made the last few fast paced steps to the toilet door, only to realise once I pulled at it that it was locked and someone was already in there.

Top Tip: If You need to throw up on a train and the toilet door is locked, DO NOT try chucking up out the window. They put bars across these things to stop drunken idiots poking their head out to puke so the best I could do was to sort of hold my mouth up to the open window, let rip and hope for the best. It didn’t work. It went everywhere. The floor, the walls, up the compartment windows and doors, everywhere. I don’t think a single chunk exited the train the intended way and the only thing worse than owning up to this was the walk of shame back though the newly redecorated corridor and the evil looks and shaking heads of the people in the 1st class compartments who witnessed it…
(Beefs, Tue 24 Aug 2004, 16:24, Reply)