A couple of puke stories
These are not me. Really.

1) My old friend (who I realised how much of a little bastard he was and I have left for dead) was complaining about stomach pains during lunch time. It was the first day of Year 9. Well, he was keeling over and screaming. We all laughed at him, as you do, yknow? Screaming 'Ha, you're going to die', and other things to that effect to try and squeeze maximum entertainment from the situation.

During next lesson he sat ouit the office, and tried to get sent home. He eventually did, but only after he spewed the contains of his ghastly stomach over the headteacher's shoes.


2. Every school has a weasily kid, you know the kind. Unkempt, and covered in a light fuzz, who speaks like a twat. In Year 2, I had the pleasure of speaking to this prick (he wouldn't piss off! Thick shit), when suddenly, his stomach growled and a firey monstor erupted out. I run back to avoid the oncoming jet of molten puke, but strangely, it didn't seem to come. He was covering his mouth with his hand, which only resulted in the build up of vomit spraying out of his nose.

The little pansy's mum was a dinner lady, and she of course rushed over to her son's aid. He removed his mouth from his hand, and the idiot actually spoke. Because his lips were so protrusive, they acted as some sort of ramp to the sick, and it shot into the air as if he was some sort of statue that sprays water throuh a little whole in their gob.

Oh, and I puked over me sisters coat once. Cow.
(Randall4k, Tue 24 Aug 2004, 19:56, Reply)