Bilingual...ness and rainbow yawning
Where do I start? The onset of alcoholism was at the tender age of 16, when I got so gloriously intoxicated (in 30minutes!!! Get me!) that I redecorated a local club, had an ambulance called for me (during process of being extracted from said club), and then during my escape from the authorities, continued the technicolour yawn over myself and my best friend. Whilst literally falling out of my dress in the centre of town. No shame, as I hardly remember it!

Roll on a few years, I've been hardened by a year out and one year at uni, so I venture to Greece on my own for the summer. I'm meeting a Greek friend of mine out there, and as she lives with her fella, she lent me her house. To be honest it was all a bit dull, until the drunken incident which caused me to cut short the holiday 5 weeks in...

You'd think I'd have learnt...

We'd not done much drinking as she was always really (infuriatingly) busy. But she was free on this particular night, and we went at it in style. I can't even imagine all I drank, but I tried to get a taxi back on my own, and they wouldn't let me (probably because I was incapable of standing). So I got a lift home. All good right?
I woke up the next, well, day to a flat filled with pools of vomit; vomit on the bed, vomit in the hall, vomit in the bathroom... 7 pools, in all. God bless marble floors! So after dealing with all of that I collapsed in front of the telly, and didn't brave outdoors until I'd slept one more night.
That's when it all went wrong. I was living in an upstairs flat of a house where downstairs was occupied by an elderly lady. When I say I was in Greece, I was in rural, greek greece. They spoke NO english, and my greek was limited to "piss off wanker" and "please give me a kiss". I'd arrived, therefore, in my drunken state, singing and shouting loudly in GCSE French and refusing to speak English, coz I knew they'd not be able to understand that. More horrendous was the fact I'd delivered a puddle of foul brownish stomach lining fresh onto this woman's doorstep. It was still there when I emerged 36 hours later. Covered in flies. Stinking in the summer heat. The utter horror and shame of what I'd put this elderly lady through was too much to bear. I cleaned it up, (retching,)changed my flight and left 2 days later.

I am truly truly sorry, and no, I still haven't learnt.
(Imp of destruction, Wed 25 Aug 2004, 12:22, Reply)