Which one to chose...
A combination of career and hobby choices means I spend lots of time on boats (little RIB's to full on patrol ships) so quite a few to choose from.

Once upon a time I had been given a generous budget to purchase a new dive boat and as a penniless student (at the time) being given a set of keys to a brand-spanking, little-plastic-covers-on-the-GPS-screen-new boat was quite exciting. So much so that myself and the gentleman who was with me decided it was going in the water for its maiden voyage.

So about an hour before dark we towed our (grey and well camouflaged) inflatable to Lymmington Slipway. It was low tide so a bit of a bugger to launch her, but we were determined.

After much phaffing we got her in the water. But by now it was late, low tide, and dark. Having parked the car and the trailer I jogged back to the boat, turned the key and the shiny new engine sprang into life.

"Did you grab the flares?" my faithful companion asked.
"Arse. Did you pick up the radio?" I replied.
"Arse."

No matter. We were going for a hoon and that was that. Nav lights on, plastic peeled from the screen and off we went.

"Weeee" we both shout as we speed across the pitch black water, wind in out hair. Until the engine coughs, slutters and refuses to start.

Bugger. And then the nav lights die. And that big bright white thing in the distance? That's the Lymmington Ferry. It's much, much bigger than us and we're directly in its path. Remember the grey and well camouflaged boat? Forgetting the flares and the radio? No method of contacting them or preventing its props from chewing us into food for really, really small fish? So did we. With bowl emptying terror we rowed, turned the key frantically and watched the ferry get closer and closer.

In the end nothing interesting happened. The engine kicked into life, we returned to the slip with great urgency and decided that that was enough of a maiden voyage, went to the pub and decided never to speak of it again*.


I've also been stoped by the Thames River Police, run aground more times than I care to remember, ramed a tender into it's ship and gotten very, very lost 10m from the ship I was attempting to board in thick fog. Not all of them my fault but all lots and lots of fun.



*Typing doesn't count.
(Squash, Sat 3 Nov 2012, 15:44, Reply)