Mr Denholm's Assembly Fun
Every teacher had to perform an assembly every year. Usually they would pick a bible story, dress the kids up and let them perform, ending with some moral or parable or whatever. It was a great skive, we loved it. The exception to the rule was Mr. Denholm. I witnessed him perform the exact same assembly four times. During this assembly there would be no bible story and no dressing up. In fact, no pupils would be involved at all. He would stand there and tell us all a story.

It might have been alright if it was a good story, but it was a tale of how his friend had built a wall. When he was finished he wanted to smooth down the cement/mortar stuff between the bricks. So he walked from one end of the wall to the other and back again smoothing it down with his finger. At this point Mr. Denholm would pause dramatically. The first time we heard this story we all leant forward a little, waiting for Jesus to turn up and teach him something important. But no. Mr. Denholm told us that when he finished, his friend looked at his hand to find the finger he had used now bloody and worn away!

A hundred or so kids look at each other in an 'erm eh?' kind of a way.

Mr. Denhold would then, very seriously, intone "The moral of the story is - don't use your fingers to smooth cement."

Right. Okay then. It may have escaped Mr. Denholm's attention but this was in fact a junior school and he was telling this to a hall full of seven year olds. As a rule we tended not to get up to much masonry related fun. Thanks for the advice though. No really, thanks.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Wed 9 Nov 2005, 14:44, Reply)