so many...
Prep School:
History teacher (go Hendy!) who wrote little plays about "William the Conker" and made us act them out. Used to rub his crotch on the corners of our desks. Top bloke though.

English Teacher (Mr Colee) - shirts with green armpits. Made a girl piss herself in class once 'cos he wouldn't let her go to the loo - didn't believe she "really needed it".

French teacher (Monsieur Grimal). Anally retentive in matters of tidyness. Used to make us arrange our pencils/rulers/rubbers etc in order of size along one edge of our desk. Used to shout "Non non non, you are not deezmeezed by ze bell!" at the ends of lessons. Again, top teacher.

Boarding school:
The perv physics teachers (lots of them around) who was fired after telling a pupil that he wanted her to "put on golf cleats and trample all over him". Also discovered that his high-power telescope (not a euphemism!) was not trained upon the night sky over Oundle, but in fact at the windows of the girls boarding house opposite the physics labs. My window, to be precise. *shudders*

The Music staff in general. Fantastic people, but very bizarre sometimes.

The chemistry teacher who set up an experiment to show the dangerous smoke produced when mixing two chemicals together. He forgot to turn the fume cupboard on, and as filthy poisonous smoke flew very quickly towards us, screamed like a little girl.

The "fit" english teacher (apparently related to AA Milne) with teeth like a picket fence. *shudders again*

The biology teacher who told us about a "friend" of hers who'd had a mild stroke and now had an orgasm every time she sneezed. What did this "friend" take for her condition? Pepper.

The maths teacher who stuck his hand down the back of his pants every time he wrote on the blackboard. Perhaps he had some weird sense of balance.

Many many more, will add soon...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 17:24, Reply)